Friday, November 28, 2008

I AM BAAAACCCKKKK!!!!!

Well, well, well, my precious readers and friends.

I still am scared of blogging. But I could not keep this back any longer.

For those of you who know me in real life (as if this isn't), my husband and I have an amazing little girl who is 5 1/2. I also have an adult stepdaughter who is 32 and a granddaughter who is 3. 

So we weren't planning on having any more children. My husband has been adamant about that. He did not want a child  younger than a grandchild. And I was sad in that I always pictured myself with 2 children, but I accepted it. I was grateful to get my Miss CC out of the deal.

So we've been going along looking forward to more grandchildren and watching Miss CC grow into a big girl, one who acts very much like a big sister to her niece. I felt like having that relationship was good for her.

And years pass and I am about to turn 40 and Mr. C is 56 and guess what?

I'm pregnant!

Yes, we are in shock, too.

Yes, we were using birth control.

And low and behold, here we are.

And to top it off, my stepdaughter is preggo, too! So we just found out we are going to get a grandson at the end of May! And our baby (don't know gender yet) will arrive in June. H/she will arrive with a niece and nephew already in the world.

Such is the life of a modern merged family.

At first we were terrified and shocked. I wasn't sure this was what I wanted. I had given up that 2-kid fantasy. I had moved on.

And then we had a few trips to the emergency room with complications in the beginning, and right away I realized I wanted this baby! I wanted this baby so badly!

We are now almost 12 weeks and all is good so far. If you are so inclined, please pass on a little prayer for me and my growing, amazing family.

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Blog crisis of faith

Here's the thing: I love blogs. I love reading them. And in some ways, I love writing them.

However, the ones I read every day and truly love are the ones that are written by people (mostly women, but a few men here and there) who are completely open and honest. They post their kids' names and photos and they are not anonymous at all. They even write about very difficult, personal subjects. These are the blogs I adore.

I want to be one of those bloggers. I am very open by nature. I don't just mean extroverted. I like to share everything - good and bad. I always feel like talking about sensitive stuff might help someone else who is struggling.

But because of the nature of my husband's job (not to mention, my husband's private personality in general), I cannot have a blog like that. I've attempted to be an anonymous blog of sorts. I don't use real names or locations. But I always feel like I'm not telling the whole story. I always feel like I have half a blog.

Part of me would like a place to share photos of my family with other family members and faraway friends. There's another part of me who would like to reach a bigger audience about what it is like to raise a gifted, but quirky, child. I know I have a voice that might help people.

Although I did not attend Blogher, I read about all the scary situations where bloggers have been targeted by trolls and have had privacy violated. This concerns me as I have had stalkers before in real life.

I don't know what to do!

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Is this good news?

This is a riddle.

What do you get when you cross one very horrible week and one stay-at-home mommy who secretly wants to have more children?

A blocked milk duct!

I am not pregnant and am not trying to get pregnant, but one lone duct in the right boobalicious has been making milk and is now blocked.

Huh?

It has happened to me before. When I first met Mr. C, I was so desperate for a baby, that I made milk then, too. FOR A PHANTOM BABY!

Okay, so I'm a freak.

But a freak without breast cancer I might add.

Sunday, July 27, 2008

yucky yucky

It gets harder and harder to blog. And I don't know why.

Except that I don't what to be one of those bloggers who always writes about what is wrong. I would much rather inspire and write about happiness.

But lately that is all there is to write about - something going wrong.

Like a lost cell phone.
And a bottle of water spilled into my new purse.
Thus, a ruined camera.
More meltdowns than I can count due to starting kindergarten (year-round school).
A close relative dx with stage 4 melanoma cancer.
And just for kicks - discovering a lump in my breast.

Mammogram tomorrow morning. See you then.

Monday, July 14, 2008

Miss CC gets a little sister




and her name is Junebug. Yes, I am exhausted with a new baby in the house. But I'm madly in love, too. Yes, she is a rescue pup - a true mixed breed. She's been hunting honey bees all day today and spitting them out, not a bit deterred by being stung. She is a big dog in a little dog's body. What are your guesses on breeds in her ancestry? (hint: we know what the mommy is)

Tuesday, July 08, 2008

Yes, it was the perfect getaway

For some reason, I've been reluctant to post about my New York City trip.

It's not because anything was bad or wrong happened. Quite the contrary. I had a marvelous time and really came home rejuvenated.

BUT for some reason, I feel like if I write too much about it, I taint the memory somehow. I've had friends who don't take as many photographs as me at events (I admit, I tend to overdo), and their reason it they want to experience the moment, rather than document the moment. I have never felt that way. (I am all about documenting.)

Until now somehow.

So here is a short summary: 5 days with 5 girlfriends where we talked constantly. Hot topics were: husbands, children, secret professional dreams, shopping. Primary activites: eating at amazing restaurants (if you ever get a chance, please go here and here), shopping in boutiques where all the summer clothes were 50% off or more, spa day at the Cornelius Spa, the theater (we saw this, which was phenomenal and this, which was hilarious).

I spent way too much money, but bought some some timeless pieces, including shoes (omg, Wishfulmommy did a "Sex and the City" and got her some Manolos!) which is huge for me as I wear a very narrow size and have trouble finding anything to fit me. We had one celebrity sighting (yes, them both). We went to one "exclusive" bar (boring) and managed to time things in such a way that we saw the first half of the Gay Pride parade.

It could not have been better.

P.S. How the homefront fared without me is a different story, and a whole different post. More to come.

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Start spreading the news...

NYC, here I come!

5 girlfriends and I are going to go for 5 days sans husbands and sans children!

This means lots of shopping, amazing dinners, cocktails, two Broadway shows, even a 1/2 day at the spa. I am so excited.

Mr. C and I have been at odds lately. It seems I am a single parent and do 99% of house stuff. One day I woke up and I was almost 40 and in a very traditional marriage. Never would have dreamed that scenario about myself I gotta tell ya.

So being away for a bit and Mr. C having to figure out how to cook dinner and pack a lunchbox should at the very least, somewhat amusing. It will be good for him!

I will miss you. Check back next week for a full report.