Monday, November 26, 2007

Ho, ho, ho!

I worked from home today for about 2 hours. During that time, my doorbell rang 4 times. All 4 times it was a delivery. All big cardboard boxes of Christmas gifts I ordered a long time ago. One was a Christmas gift from someone else already.

Because we are building a house and weren't sure if we would be in new house or not this month (um, we're not), all our Christmas decorations are in storage. This does not suit a 4-year-old who dragged us to Target Sunday to buy a pre-lit fake Christmas tree. Bless her heart.

I let her buy a few new ornaments, too, even though there are hundreds in boxes somewhere.

Apparently Christmas has arrived whether I am ready or not.

Friday, November 23, 2007


Many friends have asked where I got my blog name.

I wanted a little girl for many, many years. I prayed for one for so long. When I finally found the right guy, still I had to wait on the baby. I've wanted a baby since junior high school at least and frankly, it is a miracle I never got pregnant by "accident" in all those years as my maternal instinct was so great.

Every single time I threw a penny in a fountain or saw a shooting star, I wished for a baby.

For many years, my main hobby was wishing for a child.

Finally, she arrived in 2003. And this child is such a perfect fit for me. God or something bigger than me knew this. I cannot tell you how worth the wait she was. I adore her so much. And I am so grateful to be her mommy.

But the wishing didn't end when she finally joined my life. The wishing only began.

Now I wish for her not to run out into the street. I wish for her to get a good teacher. I wish for her not to wake up in the middle of the night having night terrors. I wish for more time.

My heart is full of wishes.

Thursday, November 15, 2007


He's home.

Mr. C has been out of the country for almost 2 weeks. That can be hard on a marriage. With all the travel, you sometimes feel disconnected, not to mention all the household and childcaring duties fall on one person: me.

I'm glad he is home, but I admit I have grown used to the separate lives on some level. I run the show back here. I like that.

But tonight when Miss CC was absolutely squealing with glee and running and jumping and hugging her "DADA," I realized how it is harder on her for him to be gone. Seeing her so happy makes me feel like we have a secure home.

As we 3 walk up the stairs to bed, she says, "Now, we are a family again."


Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Here I Am

Hello and Howdy!

I have been writing a private blog for quite some time. A handful of friends read it. I imagine a few strangers stumbled upon it now and then, too. However, I was reluctant to share it with everyone. I didn't even let my family see it.

I'm not sure why I kept it so private. I tend to be very open. I'm known in some circle for being the honest one, a tad brutally honest in fact. Maybe I was scared of what people would think.

I read many blogs, most of them I truly enjoy. I read several blogs by other mommies. Some are moms with kids with special needs. Others are moms who write professionally. Others still have children the same age as my little girl. And they all put themselves out there. Yes, some use psuedonyms and limit photos of their children. But they still put themselves out there. They write with grace and openness and it inspires me. Sometimes they even cut a vein and let it bleed for all of us to see.

And so here I am. I realize I am behind the times. I only got an Ipod and a Blackberry recently after all.

It took me a little longer to get ready. Here I am.