Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Start spreading the news...

NYC, here I come!

5 girlfriends and I are going to go for 5 days sans husbands and sans children!

This means lots of shopping, amazing dinners, cocktails, two Broadway shows, even a 1/2 day at the spa. I am so excited.

Mr. C and I have been at odds lately. It seems I am a single parent and do 99% of house stuff. One day I woke up and I was almost 40 and in a very traditional marriage. Never would have dreamed that scenario about myself I gotta tell ya.

So being away for a bit and Mr. C having to figure out how to cook dinner and pack a lunchbox should at the very least, somewhat amusing. It will be good for him!

I will miss you. Check back next week for a full report.

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Big whine break

Pain is part of my everyday existence.

I suffer from chronic pain. It resides primarily in my neck and hips, and I also often have pain in my shoulders and lower back. I sometimes have shooting pains in both arms and legs.

I have mild scoliosis. Some doctors have told me my pain is muscular damage only. Others say it is in my head. Most give me a fibromyalgia diagnosis.

I have been in 6 car accidents, fallen down stairs twice and had a C-section without a working epidural. Of course I have some back pain, right?

I have experienced minor pain relief from various things: hot bath, deep tissue massage, physical therapy, pain meds, Thai massage, muscle relaxers, pilates. I have tried Western medicine and Eastern medicine. I've changed my diet. I've changed my pillow.

This past year I really thought I had pieced together a plan that helped make my chronic pain tolerable. I started seeing a physical therapist twice a week, did pilates once or twice a week and had a massage every other week. I am not an exercise person so this was major for me to commit to this plan.

For awhile it was working great. I actually had good days some days.

About 3 months ago, I eliminated one physical therapy session and added working out at home with a trainer for an hour twice a week.

About a month ago, my pain increased again.

Today I did not have one hour that was pain free.

And I found myself annoyed with Miss CC. That is not like me. I normally am very patient with her. Tonight I was annoyed by her always tickling me, talking disrespectfully, asking for treats over and over, putting off bedtime.

I did not yell at her, but I was obviously annoyed and she sensed it and cried. I hugged her and reassured her, but the damage was done.

So now I am in severe pain AND FEEL GUILTY!

Sunday, June 15, 2008

Father's Day: mixed review

Father's Day brings mixed emotions for me.

On one hand, I see my husband - a man who is a good father - playing and dancing with our daughter. I also see him with his older daughter - always guiding and loving.

And yet on the other hand, I miss my own dad so much.

Miss CC acts exactly like my dad, her Papa. And yet they never met. I lost my dad 15 years ago to a surprise stomach aneurism. And just like that, at age 66, he was gone. CC has his sense of humor - very corny and silly. Things my dad said and did were hilarious. If anyone else said them, however, they fell flat. There was just something about him that was inherently funny. He was also quite childlike and adorable. And yet he was a hugely successful, brilliant attorney. I loved him, but I also admired him.

Today's plans include doughnuts for breakfast, art project making for Mr. C, pool toy shopping, swimming in new pool and a community barbecue with a bounce house. The day is sure to include lots of gleeful laughter and fun.

And yet.....I miss Daddy.

Monday, June 09, 2008

The new mommy

I met another mommy today. One who was fresh from receiving an Asperger's diagnosis for her son.

When I met her, I immediately saw she was the put-together type mom. You know the one. The one who has a beautiful suit on every day and has her makeup just so, always with a matching handbag. She had that formal air about her.

This is not to say I didn't like her. I actually did right way. But I am not that type of mommy. I am much more laid back. I care more about comfort than designer names. I tend to always be rushing and so believe it or not, will show up to events without even brushing my hair (or washing it for that matter.)

But something felt so sad with this mom. Something so fragile. When I said, "I feel like you might need a little extra support," she burst into tears.

And there were other moms there - moms with kids with autism diagnoses, moms with simply quirky kids, moms with kids who get constantly picked on, moms with gifted kids. We were there for a social skills class for our children. (a class I wish ALL kids were required to take by the way, but that is a whole other post)

And of course we reached out to her. And we all shared our stories. About how we were all so proud of our kids. About how we had embraced our kids' differences and celebrated their unique gifts. And we shared about how we support each other when there are rough times - like when our kids don't get included or invited to birthday parties or when they have unexplained meltdowns.

And although we all have positive mindsets now, most of us do remember that feeling - that moment of grief when you realize your child is going to have a more difficult time than others. For some, the grieving and questioning lasts longer. For others, we transition quickly to celebration and acceptance mode. For me personally, I love that my kid is not a cookie-cutter kid.

I don't know which way the new mommy will go, but I do know that when we all left, she brightly called out to us, "See you next week!"

Thursday, June 05, 2008

Aloha from napland

When the company sponsors an incentive trip every year - always somewhere lovely - it is good to be the chief operating officer's wife then.

I've written about the pitfalls before on being an excutive's wife (um, I have a husband? he's never here), but the perks far outweigh the hard stuff. On that note, aloha from Hawaii!

Since arriving, I've eaten fresh delicious fruit (without a child demanding the best piece), taken a long, blissful nap (!!!!!!), had an amazing dinner with lots of yummy tropical drinks and slept 9 hours straight in a comfortable bed (happy, happy, joy, joy). Today the agenda is my usual vanilla latte and now a stone massage. Later I might have to break a sweat sitting by the pool and having a cocktail. Ahhhhhhh.

Sorry to rub it in, but after this past year with crazy contracters and deadline after deadline missed and budgets not kept (all relating to the house we built) and all the ups and downs of parenting a darling but quirky child, well, I actually think I deserve this trip.

But I do know most of you folks out there - especially you moms of quirky kids - you deserve it, too. So in honor of you, I will drink my cocktail this afternoon with you in mind. Cheers!

P.S. Haven't heard from stalker in a week. Hope he is gone for good. Thanks for the emails of good wishes.